Computer Monsters by Stephen Manes

By Stephen Manes

Machine Monsters

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75 APIECE? 2 HOW MANY ORDERS OF FLIES FOR YOUR HUMAN— THEY'RE 69 CENTS EACH? 7 RIDICULOUS! YOUR HUMAN'LL GET SICK! I'LL GIVE YOU 1. AND HOW MANY BLOOD SHAKES— THEY'RE 87 CENTS? 3 AND YOUR USUAL MEAL, OF COURSE— 20 BIG DRACS, 10 ORDERS OF FLIES AND 30 SHAKES. 71 FOR THE SHAKES. 80 ENJOY YOUR MEAL! " 160 PRINT "HOW MANY POUNDS DOES YOUR HUMAN WEIGH"; 170 INPUT HW 180 PRINT 190 IF HW<1 THEN 160 200 PRINT "HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH, MONSTER"; 210 INPUT MW 220 PRINT 230 IF MW>HW*10 THEN 290 240 PRINT "COME ON!

TO SAY THAT AGAIN! WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT? GO JUMP IN A LAKE! MUNCH. CRUNCH. BURP. YOU TASTE AWFUL! BUT AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR INSULTS ANY MORE. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU! 36 If You Have. " 255 PRINT "HA! " 265 PRINT "ME? " 275 PRINT "TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONEI" 305 PRINT "ME? " 39 cMonster Snapshots When you take your monster around the world with you, you'll both need passports. Run this program, and you'll get your monster's official photo delivered instantly. Say! \bu and your monster look so much alike, you could pass for twins!

5 750 PRINT "RIDICULOUS! YOUR HUMAN'LL" 780 L=INT(10*RND)+1 TRS-80 COLOR COMPUTER Change: 320 L=RND(5) 780 28 L=RND(10) cMonster Construction Company Humans always seem to want to bother us monsters! Here's one way to keep them out! Sample Run NEED A BRICK WALL TO KEEP OUT HUMANS? MONSTER CONSTRUCTION COMPANY AT YOUR SERVICE! HIT THE ENTER KEY WHEN YOU'D LIKE US ********* * TO START BUILDING? ********* ** ********* **** ********* ********* ** **** * ********* ********* ********* * * **** **** * ********* ********* ** ********* **** * **** ********* ********* * * **** ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **** * * * * * ********* * ********* * ********* * * * * ********* * ********* ********* ** ********* * ********* ********* ** ********* ********* ********* * * ********* ********* ********* ********* * ********* ********* * **** ** ********* ** ********* ********* **** ********* **** ********* ** * ********* ** ********* **** ********* ** ********* ** ********* **** **** ********* ********* ********* **** **** *** ********* ********* **** * ** ********* **** * **** ********* ********* ** ********* **** ********* ** ********* ** ********* * ** ********* ********* * ********* ********* ********* ** ********* **** * * ** ********* **** * ** ********* * ********* ********* ********* ** **** ********* ****************** * ********* ********* ** ********* * ********* **** ********* * ********* ** ********* * ********* ********* ********* *• ********* * **** ** ********* **** ****************** ** ********* * ********* ** ********* * ********* Break 29 Program Listing 10 REM MONSTER CONSTRUCTION COMPANY 100 110 PRINT "NEED A BRICK WALL TO KEEP OUT" PRINT "HUMANS?

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